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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27364657">I'm never gonna make it halfway to the moon.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamBird711/pseuds/DreamBird711'>DreamBird711</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Arguing, Bullying, Dadza, Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Implied/Referenced Adoption, Medication, Medication having negative side effects, Mental Health Issues, Minor Intrusive Thoughts, Moving, Running Away, Self-Worth Issues, Slowly Deteriorating Mental Health, Swearing, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot is kind of a jerk in this ngl, Will update as we go!, bad medication, idk how to tag this, medication not working well, no beta we die like men, self deprecating thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:28:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,848</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27364657</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamBird711/pseuds/DreamBird711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The fact that they were moving, moving didn’t really register in Tommy’s head until they were driving away from the house.</p><p>--</p><p>Not me using a writing request prompt thingie to project.<br/>Definitely Not.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>784</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Completed stories I've read</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/pr0blematic/gifts">pr0blematic</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_Gay_Gay/gifts">Gay_Gay_Gay</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27214126">Inside Out</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/pr0blematic/pseuds/pr0blematic">pr0blematic</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from Oh My God by Alec Benjamin (awesome song, has nothing to do with the story tho lol, I just like it) </p><p>Here we are! there is already more of this in the making but i had to get something out or I'd never get. </p><p>If there are tags i should add, tell me in the comments bc I genuinely dont know how to tag this lol</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The fact that they were moving, moving didn’t really register in Tommy’s head until they were driving away from the house. Everyone had taken a day or at least an hour to feel bad about leaving everything they’d had together for the past six-ish years, but not Tommy. Sure, he had told his friends and they had all spewed on about how they’d miss him and he spewed right back, but it didn’t completely hit him until now.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was mad when they had first told him, of course he was! He loves their home in Ridgeton, Oregon, why do they have to move to stupid ass Appleton, Michigan? Who the fuck names a town Appleton. And he doesn’t want to leave Tubbo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo has been his best friend since they met in the summer before second grade after Tubbo’s big brother, and technically legal guardian, Jordan had invited them over to swim and have dinner. Since that fateful day, the two had been inseparable, doing everything together even if classes continuously split them up. Eventually, Tubbo and Phil had convinced him it would be fun! A new place to explore and claim as their own! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that leads him to now, sitting in a car, watching their house, street, town, state go by, the sinking feeling in his gut slowly worsening until the lull of the bumpy road sends him off to sleep. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay, what the fuck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy looks over the small tri-level house he hasn’t seen in four years. A few years back, Phil’s biological grandfather had died, and since Phil was his last living relative that wasn’t in jail or MIA, he got it. The only reason they had kept it was because of the weird tax laws around it. Technically, all the land is farmland, which means, as long as no one’s there, they don’t have to pay the taxes. Tommy had only been here once for the wake, he never knew Phil’s grandfather and now definitely never will. Cause he’s dead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyway, the house looks ridiculously beaten up, and is painted an ugly olive green and clashing pristine white. The garage doors look like they’re falling off, and the powerline pole just barely off their property to the right, is covered in leaves, making him fear a fire hazard. In the middle of the yard, is a large stump from an improperly cut down tree, and from his place at the end of the driveway, he can see a gutter leak right in the middle of the porch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, he can feel wind blow past him and he stumbles a step forward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Careful, Tommy! That road is super dangerous!” Phil jogs over and looks him over to make sure he’s okay, “One of the downsides of living in the middle of nowhere, is people don’t care about speed limits.” After dusting him off, he pats his back with a satisfied smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now come on! The truck’s supposed to arrive later today, so we should dust up inside.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy nods and follows Phil in, wincing when a droplet from the gutter falls on his head. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean ‘lost in transit’?” Phil rants at the phone, standing in the kitchen, “I ordered better delivery just so this wouldn’t happen!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy watches Phil pace, feet dragging shadows across the floor into the living room whenever he passes the doorway. He glances to his left and can see Techno with his slim glasses slipped over his nose, said nose deep in a book for their new school. He glances to the right and can see Wilbur tipping away at his phone, probably texting Schlatt, and Carson, and the rest of the ‘Lunch Club’ he had hung out with back home in Ridgeton. Tommy just presses his face into the blanketed floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, it’s Saturday, so they have a little to adjust before school on Tuesday, the district having a three day weekend for some reason. Something about a “teachers institute day.” He will admit he’s grateful for the small break but he’s also annoyed. Did he like school? No. But, he will admit it is a very neat thing in the fact that it has people and a nice structure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil sighs and walks through the doorway, plopping down on one of the blankets they had covered the floor with, “So, the moving company has messed up and sent our stuff to Appleton, Minnesota, instead of Appleton, Michigan, which means it’ll be a few days until we get our stuff.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both of his brothers sigh, one dramatically, one monotonically. A few more moments of silence, and Phil starts rummaging around his bag. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a quiet, “ah ha!” Phil pulls out his laptop and their family movie case. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because we have nothing else to do tonight, wanna watch some classics?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boys let out a couple of whoops while Phil pulls out the first movie in the case as tradition goes, every other time they start from the back then front and go half way through the cd holder, it only holds eight so it’s not like they stayed up too long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The group settles in, wrapping blankets around themselves to keep warm while they watch the movies together. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The weekend passes quickly, and the boys quickly discover that riding the bus would be a nightmare. They live very close to their schools meaning if they wanted to ride, they’d be the first picked up. At 6 in the morning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s when Phil wakes up to leave for his job in Flint. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They quickly vetoed that plan and decided to walk, both schools were about fifteen, maybe twenty minutes away on foot so it wouldn’t be that bad. At about two thirds of the way through, they’ll have to split up, but it’s fine. Tommy’s big and strong and has a phone to call for emergencies if he needs to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They don’t tell Phil though, because they know he would be upset, but Tommy honestly doesn’t want to burden his brothers by making them go the extra distance and making them have to leave earlier. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he wants to make a good impression! He doesn’t want everyone to think he’s a baby that needs his big brothers to do everything for him! He has a phone! He’s mature! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Tommy makes his way up the gates, he grabs his schedule from his backpack and quickly makes his way to his first class, Spanish. He doesn't really want to take a language, but Techno had insisted, saying it would make highschool easier or something. He quickly makes his way to the class to be greeted with a kind looking man with a bright smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello! You must be the new student! I’m Mr. Woods but you can call me Señor Woods. You can sit anywhere you want, as I believe in free seating.” The man jokes before gesturing to the crowded yet colorful room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the kids swarm in and Tommy picks a random seat, the class is smaller but loud, and he can’t help but like it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After the lively class, he makes his way to his main teacher. This school is weird where special classes like language and art are taught by different teachers while all the common core is taught by the same one. The school set up every kid’s schedule to start with a period of whatever language or art, common core for the entire middle of the day with one teacher, then another period of language or art. Something about, “starting and ending on a good note.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he enters the class, he expects a similar environment, cheerful, colorful, and all around, well, happy, and when he sees the teacher, he cheerfully approaches her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello Miss! I’m the new student, Tommy, and-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know who you are, Mister Pandel.” She eyes him coldly, as if expecting him to be rude. She gestures to a seat at a table to the right with papers on it, “That’s your seat over there. The classroom rules and synopsis are on your desk.” she turns back to her desk and proceeds to ignore him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Okay,” Tommy quickly makes his way to his chair. He sits down and shuffles through the papers, reading them but not really taking them in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Right before his third attempt to read them through, the teacher taps her pointer on the board, “Okay kids, today we have a new student.” She gestures to him and suddenly everyone’s eyes are on him, “That is Thomas Pandel. Now today, we're going to be going through the periodic table.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she starts droning on, Tommy zones out, absent mindedly doodling on the study guide that had been in the small stack of papers he’d been given. Eventually, he tries to pay attention again, but the lecture has moved on far enough that he doesn’t understand a word being said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, Fuck.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tommy decides to turn his attention to his classmates, more specifically the ones at his table. There’s a guy next to him and a girl across. Another guy sits diagonally across from him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy rips a piece of paper from his notebook and writes a simple “hi” on it, subtly placing it between him and the guy next to him. Before he can even look at it, he hears a loud </span>
  <em>
    <span>ahem.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks up to see the teacher glaring at him, “Mister Pandel, Did you not read the rules I gave you?” It was phrased as a question, but left no room for response, “Because we do not pass notes in this classroom. You and Mister Grayson will be getting detention after school today.” She holds up two detention slips and points to the door. “I expect you to fill these out and give them to the receptionist at the office so she can inform your parent’s you’ll be late.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy just sputters for a moment, watching the guy grumpily take the slip and walk out the door. The teacher gives him a sharp look and he quickly gets up and grabs the slip, quickly jogging after the guy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally catching up, Tommy decides to attempt conversation, “Um, Hi. Sorry about that.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guy scoffs and rolls his eyes, “You better be, I was supposed to have practice after school. Now I have to fill a detention for something I didn’t even do.” the guy glares at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” silence sits between them for a moment before Tommy tries again, “My name is Tommy-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, Ms. Ambrose told us.” he gives the taller a deadpan stare and all Tommy can do is blankly think, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so that’s her name</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The guy pushes the door to the office open, “You can call me Purpled.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy nods, looking over to the receptionist who just raises an eyebrow, “can I help you boys?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Purpled raises his slip, “detention.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She just nods, “Okay, fill them out and put them in the tray.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy borrows one of the pens, taking a seat in one of the dingy office chairs, and starts filling out the slip. It’s just general information, his guardian, his name, why he has detention, his teacher, and Phil’s number. He quickly scribbles it out and puts it in the tray. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“After school, report to the band room.” Tommy nods and quickly heads back to class. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This day is shaping up to be just </span>
  <em>
    <span>great.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Apparently, Purpled was fairly popular because everyone was mad at him for getting him detention. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy doesn’t know what to do when everyone ignores him or just out right refuses to talk to him so he gets loud. That gets people’s attention, right? Well it always worked before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>During the last period of the day, a video editing class of sorts, he sits by a small group that hadn’t really been ignoring him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello!” he sees one of the kids wince at his volume and he immediately takes it down a bit, “I’m Tommy!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The group gives him a collective grin, going around and introducing themselves. Soon after, they were all loudly joking together. After a bit, the rest fell into a comfortable silence, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>I just don’t know when to shut up do I?</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The teacher had asked the class to quiet down a few times, but when Tommy turns on his energy, he doesn’t know how to turn it off. So he just, </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doesn’t. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Class! I have repeatedly asked you to quiet down! The rest of the week is going to be silent time.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everybody immediately turns and glares at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy feels himself shrink in on himself, and he shuffles his stuff away from the now glaring group of previously potential friends. He buries himself in his classwork. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only day one and he’s already fucked up beyond repair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Twice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once everything is over, he makes his way to Phil’s car, Phil had elected to have mercy on him and pick him up instead of making him figure out the buses. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So how was your day?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, I guess.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?” Phil glances over, concern shining in his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wanna go home.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phil nods and drives the five minutes it takes to get home. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ughghhhh, School today sucked, Tubbo.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“School sucked for me too, It was weird without you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy gets up from his bed and walks over to his pc. Luckily, all their stuff came in quickly after the mix up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So wanna play the craft with me or something?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh..” there’s silence on the line for a moment and Tommy feels some concern bubble up in him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tubbo?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Toms, I already have plans to play with Schlatt-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“SCHLATT!?” Tommy can feel Tubbo’s wince through the phone, but he has to know what he’s doing hanging out with that piece of shit. “What are you doing hanging out with </span>
  <em>
    <span>him?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Tommy spits the word out like it’s venomous and he can hear Tubbo suck in a small breath through the call. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, he’s not too bad.” Tommy actually growls and Tubbo quickly comes to his defense, “he’s been super nice, and offered to let me play with him and Quackity and George, and what else am I supposed to do? He’s the only one around to hang out with after you left! And-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy hangs up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t want to hear his best friend fawn over a bully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Over the next few weeks, he puts up with everyone ignoring him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he’s getting sick of being alone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn't talk to anyone at school. He hasn’t talked to Tubbo since the incident. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe he could talk to his family? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s probably closest with Wilbur, but Wilbur has been all secludey in his room and they haven’t talked in a bit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe Techno? He always does great in school and knows how to handle people. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy knocks on Techno’s door with no response. Yeah, there’s a do not disturb sign on it, but there’s always a do not disturb sign up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy knocks louder, “Techno!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door swings open and Techno stands, ever grumpy with a cup of coffee, “whatcha ya want?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wanna talk, I need a little help with school-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tommy, I don’t have time to help you with school work, I have enough of my own.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, not school work-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tommy, I am extremely busy right now. Go bother Wilbur or something.” Techno goes to close his door before pausing for a moment, “Don’t bother Phil though, he’s already stressed.” Then he slammed the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy just looks at the door for a moment before sighing, he should’ve known it’d be useless to try and talk to Techno. Guess he’ll have to go to Wilbur. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy peaks his head into Wilbur’s open door to see him lounging on the bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey.” Wilbur ignores him, typing away at his phone. “Hello?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want?” Wilbur continues looking down at his phone, not giving him the patience to even look at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need a little help with school stuff.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you need help with school work, go to Techno.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy groans in frustration, “It’s not fucking school work.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then what do you want, gremlin child?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need help with social stuff, no one will talk to me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilbur scoffs, “Just man up and start talking to others.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It doesn’t work, Wilbur. I just hate it here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go complain to your Tubbo or whatever.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy clenches his fists, “He’s not speaking to me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then go cry about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wilbur, just-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God, Tommy!” Wilbur finally looks up at him, rage burning in his eyes, “Can’t you see I’m busy? If you hate it here so much, leave! Run away! Now get out!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that Wilbur returns his gaze to his phone, ignoring the blonde once again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy leaves the room quickly, he doesn’t want to stick around his brother when he’s being such a huge prick. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy sits on the porch until Phil gets home. If his brothers can’t help him maybe his dad can. Luckily, the day isn't too cold even though it’s later at night. Phil pulls up and Tommy walks to stand outside the car window. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before he can say anything, Phil rolls down the window so as to not open the door into Tommy, “Hey, can you help me with the groceries?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy nods with a smile “Of course!” Together they unload the groceries, taking them inside and placing them away. As they do the task, they crack jokes, simply enjoying each other’s company, chatting in idle joy, a way that they haven’t had the chance to speak in lately. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phil lets a sly grin play at his lips and slowly holds up a box of oreos, and Tommy grins back. “Wanna have some before your brothers can get to it?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course!” Both sit down with small grins, passing him an oreo, Phil says, “I know this hasn’t been easy,” He takes a bite with a laugh, “God, I know.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighs and finishes the oreo, resting his head in his hand as if trying to figure out what to say. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You boys have just been so wonderful. You haven’t really caused any trouble and it’s been a great rest on my old mind.” He laughs at his joke before smiling, as he smiles, Tommy can see just how tired he is, “I know you miss Tubbo, but thanks for staying our same happy Tommy.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy finishes the oreo with a forced smile. He can’t tell him now. His dad is obviously already so tired, he doesn’t need another burden. Especially not him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once he finishes, he makes his way back to his room and curls up on his bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t disappoint him. I’ll have to handle it on my own. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Slowly over the next few months, things got worse and worse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The simple shunning turned into tripping, which turned into name calling, which turned into stealing and messing with his stuff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One time, he came back to his locker to find what looked like one of those stupid wrapping paper birthday things but it was just covered in insults. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loudmouth” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go Back” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loser” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Waste of Space” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Disappear” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Go Back” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Go Back. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Go Back. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>GO BACK.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>GO BACK.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>GO BACK! GO BACK! GO BACK!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy wraps his hands in his hair and tugs. As if pulling on his hair would pull the thoughts out of his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One time, they stole his backpack and tore it apart. It had taken him hours to find the remains. At the time he hadn’t known they ripped everything up, so he spent all that time to find ripped up shreds of his homework he had spent the previous nights doing and the same messages that were on his lockers were scrawled all over the ripped fabric. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loudmouth” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go Back” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loser” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Waste of Space” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Disappear” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Disappear” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Disappear. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Disappear.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>DISAPPEAR.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>DISAPPEAR.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>DISAPPEAR! DISAPPEAR! DISAPPEAR!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy curls in on himself, hands still tangled in his hair, damp dark coolness surrounding him. He doesn’t quite know how he got here or to this point but he hates it. He wants to go home. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Home</span>
  </em>
  <span> home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not back to that stupid fucking house on that stupid fucking busy ass road. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wants to go back to Tubbo before he became friends with those jerks. Back to a school that liked him at best and tolerated him at worst. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back to when his family would talk to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy doesn’t know when, but he started crying. He can feel the tears seep into the gag they had tied behind his head in a place he couldn’t reach, even with his long gangly arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know what he did to deserve this, all he ever did was be a little loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now he’s locked in a supply closet, in the dark, at night, with no one around to help him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just wants to go home. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I just wanna go home.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>In the morning, a janitor opens the closet door to find a sleeping Tommy on the ground. He doesn’t know how the kid got there, but he wakes him up and sends him on his way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t notice the tear tracks or red marks on his face from where he had clawed the clamp on his face off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just sends him on his way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy goes to the bathroom to attempt to make himself presentable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has class soon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He splashes water on his face and makes a promise to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’ll talk to his family today. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’ll talk to them today. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When he finally gets home after the day of everybody laughing at him and snickering behind his back, he finally changes. He throws away the old shirt and pants. He doesn’t want to be reminded about that night ever again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ever again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could handle name calling and practical jokes. Hell, he’s used to it. His friends would break his stuff “for the meme” all the time. And Schlatt would… well he was Schlatt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t handle this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has to tell someone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Tommy was home the previous night, then he would have known Phil had a double shift and would be gone until at least midnight and Techno was having a “duel” with his new “arch nemesis” Dream behind Denny’s at Midnight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Therein, the only one home, is Wilbur. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy doesn’t know that of course, so before figuring it out, he makes his way around the house, trying to find who’s home. Finally, he figures out only Wilbur’s there and goes to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy quietly knocks on the door to Wilbur’s room, sticking his head in, “Hey.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur looks up from his homework, “Hey. Can’t you see I’m busy?” his tone is gruff and annoyed as if he hadn’t had water in hours. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy puts the water bottle he had brought on the desk, a peace offering for his dumb oldest brother that forgets to take care of himself, “I need to talk to you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur takes the water and greedily gulps it down, after downing half of it, he puts it back down, “about what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The social thing-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, you can't make friends? How is it my problem?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy groans in frustration, “It’s not that I can’t make friends-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, I don’t wanna hear you be all dramatic and talk about how no one likes you. News Flash! No one fucking likes you! All you ever do is constantly disappoint everyone! You know you were supposed to be here last night, right? Phil had scheduled a family day and you couldn’t be bothered to even show up! If you don’t care about anyone here, Go! Disappear off into fucking sunset on your fucking high horse, you narcissistic little prick!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy just gapes for a moment, completely unexpecting the outburst. After a few minutes he can finally find it in him to speak, “What?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur turns to him slowly with a grin somewhere between pitying and sickening, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, If you hate it here so much, why haven’t you left yet?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy stares at him blankly, he doesn’t know what to do with his brother acting this way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you’ve ran before,” Wilbur rests his head on his hand, eyes still boring into him, “We know all about your record.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just the lucky trouble making foster kid that Phil chose to keep.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur turns back to his desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you disappeared, no one would notice or care, so if you hate it, leave.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that, Wilbur ignores him, leaving Tommy border on tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Tommy can hear the quake in his voice and he hates it, “Fuck you too” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he leaves, now knowing what he has to do. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tommy pushes a shirt into his backpack, scrolling through the busing site on his phone. He needs at least one change of clothes and his back up backpack he resorted to using after they tore apart his favorite one is too small to carry everything he wants to take. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Wilbur said, he has done this before, he knows how to do it right. Obviously he’s being a burden, Wilbur doesn’t just lash out at people like that, he must have done something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He must have.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur had never been wrong before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Wilbur is right, Phil doesn’t need someone who can’t handle themself loafing around and weighing down the family. They moved because of money issues. If he had never adopted him, the rest of them probably would’ve been able to stay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stay in their home they’d had for years before he met them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy ruined everything for them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know how he didn’t realize sooner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he grabs the change of clothes, he tosses the bag and his phone on his bed and quietly sneaks into Techno’s room. On the small rack, hanger thingie on the back of the door, is Techno’s favorite red hoodie he usually wears under his varsity jacket. As previously mentioned, Techno is at a duel with his “main rival.” He would never wear his favorite one and risk it being ruined in any kind of tackling, biting, or slashing or any other kind of questionable fighting techniques they may use. He probably is wearing his old black one he wore back when he was an edgy middle schooler and not the aloof valedictorian jock he is now. He's not the star jock, that’d be Dream, second smartest kid in his year and his main “rival.” Tommy gently pulls down the hoodie so as to not tear or rip it, folding it nicely and scurrying back to his room to put it gently in his bag. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next, he sneaks into Phil’s room. On his dresser, sits his dad’s favorite bucket hat, the green and white striped hat designed after one an anime character he likes has. He nabs the hat, pushing it lightly into his pocket before rummaging through the drawers of the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, he finds a small key taped on the underside of his desk. With a quiet hiss of a “yes!” he carefully unhooks it, careful to leave most of the tape there so it’d be in the same place when he puts it back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He takes the key and crawls into the closet. Pushing aside a small shoe rack, he can see a small locked door. Putting in the key, he opens the door and finds a safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing ever changes does it? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil had kept a safe in a similar place back in Ridgeton. The code was always the same too. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>6-1-13-9-12-25 </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil and his fondness for ciphers. Tommy smiles before remembering what he’s getting and why he’s getting it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabs one of the emergency wads they’ve prepared. In each wad is two twenties and six tens, an even hundred. These are back up for just in case. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just in case. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bet it wasn’t for situations like this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Actually, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> this isn’t what this money is for but no one here will miss it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Better for them to lose a hundred than continue paying for him for the next five years before kicking him out like the worthless little burden he is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly flicks through the money to make sure it’s all there and after affirming it, shoves it in his pocket next to the beloved hat he had placed in gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quickly relocking everything and placing back the key, he runs back to his room, putting the hat alongside the hoodie and the money into a safe little hidden zipper pocket. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lastly, he peeks his head into Wilbur’s room to see if he’s paying attention. Luckily, he had put in some earbuds and can hear it faintly from where he stands so he assumes he's safe. He creeps in and quickly grabs the maroon beanie his brother is known for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, he plops down on his bed, everything he wants in his bag. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t leave tonight, the buses for the night route cost more than the morning route ones. Also, it would be too suspicious. If Phil came home and found his bed empty, they would know he’s gone far too soon and he’d be easier to find. If he left during the school day, they wouldn’t know until much later and that works in his favor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he’d say goodbye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that they’d know that, but he’d still like to do it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy pushes the bag under his bed, and pulls his covers up and around himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If this is the last night he sleeps in his bed, might as well try making it a good one. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>the cipher type is A1Z26 if you wanna figure out what the safe code says!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In the morning, Tommy grabs his bag and watches his brothers fumble around. Techno was up for far too long, a day or two at least, so it’s no surprise to watch him put a cup of noodles in the microwave and almost start a fire. Wilbur had forgotten to set his alarm, again, and only woke up when Tommy had quickly pulled out the smoking cup from the microwave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy watches Wilbur blankly make toast, when Techno half bursts in. “Where’s my hoodie?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur lets out a series of mumbles that might have included the words “Phil,” “Laundry,” and “get it back later.” Tommy kind of just nods along. Techno just glares before grumbling about getting his old one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, they all make their way out of the house and onto the walk to school.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that Tommy is going to school. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But his brothers don’t need to know that of course. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire way, Wilbur and Techno chat about some drama that’s happening between their teachers in the language department. Tommy stays quiet to see if they notice or if they say anything about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They don’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, they come up to space where they split. At the train tracks, Tommy has to go left and his brothers continue straight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he turns, the other two continue on, not even sparing him a glance as they continue on their way to school. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy can’t help but feel like they did it on purpose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Normally, they’d joke with him and let him butt into whatever drama they’re dealing with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really must be a complete waste of space for even them to not want to talk to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur had said he’s a burden. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur doesn’t lie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy watches his brothers go out of his line of sight, before backtracking and going right to the bus station. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks at the ticket prices and mentally facepalms. He forgot ticket prices are higher on Fridays and weekends because of more people riding. He grumpily hands over the cash. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needs this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He buys the cheapest ticket, but the bus doesn’t leave until about five, so he has some time. He sits down on the wait bench and pulls out Techno’s hoodie and Wilbur’s beanie. Carefully tugging on the red hoodie, it’s soft interior immediately makes him melt. It’s super soft and warm.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So this is why he liked it so much.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Next he pulls on Wilbur’s beanie, the hat almost too big for him, drooping over his ears in a way that Phil would call adorable. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Phil would probably love a picture of this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy pulls out his phone, he needs something to distract him for a few hours. He goes to check his notifications and sees a bunch from a blocked number, opening it up, it’s all from Tubbo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over seven hundred messages in the past month, all following the same theme. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hi” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hello?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tommy?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Want to call later?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tommy?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you okay?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Please text me if you’re okay” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tommy?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Is this about the Schlatt thing?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s actually pretty cool when you get to know him” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I promise!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tommy?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>And it just goes on, and on, and on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy frowns at his phone, muting the messaging app completely. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t wanna deal with that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He opens the pocket edition of Minecraft, the version for weak losers, but okay for just messing around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He also doesn’t have a pc anymore, it’s not like he can play normally. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Time flies quickly, and soon enough he gets his daily after school text from Wilbur. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, I’m busy with people I care about, so I can’t walk home with you.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy frowns down at the message, typing out a response before quickly deleting it. Before he can even think about trying again, he gets a text from Techno. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m going to the library. Don’t wait for me.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy frowns down at his phone, looking up quickly as the announcement for his bus gets called, and quickly pushes the button on the side, effectively shutting it off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And effectively missing Phil’s call.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil places his keys on the counter, pulling out his phone to check for messages from his boys. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ah, so Wilbur is with friends and Techno is at the library. Hmmm, no messages from Tommy… He’s probably in his room. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy!” Phil knocks on Tommy’s door and hears nothing. Gently pushing open the door he sees an empty room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Concern welling in his chest, he pulls up his youngest son’s contact, dialing and listening to it ring. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The person you’re trying to contact is not at the phone right now. You can leave a message at the beep.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil furrows his eyebrows, listening to the small sharp beep. “Tommy, where are you? You haven’t texted me and you’re not home, so please call me soon as possible.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil pulls up Wilbur’s chat, and quickly types out a message. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Have you heard from Tommy?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Not since this morning, why?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s not home, and I haven’t heard from him. I thought he might be with you?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s not, but I’ll ask Tech.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay, I’m going to call Tubbo.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil taps his foot as the phone rings. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur taps the side of his phone anxiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright, Wil?” Wilbur looks up to see Niki’s light concern shows through her small frown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m fine. The gremlin’s just not answering Phil or at home. He’s probably just being a brat.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fundy laughs. Eret chuckles a little, not in humor, but thinly veiled concern. Niki’s frown just grows more persistent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But from what you’ve told us about him, it’s not something he’d do.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur’s lips tighten, concern settling in. She’s right, it’s not like him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m supposed to text Techno or whatever, gimme a moment.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“hey, u see the gremlin?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, why?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“hes not at hom and dad cant get ahold of him” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hm. I’ll come home now, you should too” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur bites the inside of his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“ye ill do thatt” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur pushes his phone into his pocket and grabs his bag. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry guys, but I have to go. Phil wants me home.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all nod, “We understand.” Niki pats his knee and he makes his way out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur can’t help but be concerned, Tommy has a record of running and had tried it a few times in his early years with their family but he hasn’t tried it since then. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why would he run now?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Hey, Tubbo”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello Mister Philza!” Tubbo’s cheery voice rings through the small phone’s speaker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you heard from Tommy today?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um…” an awkward silence fills the air, “He, uh, hasn’t been talking to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil’s eyebrows shoot up. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy not talking to Tubbo?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That’s not something that happens. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I don’t really know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A frown presses itself onto his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, well currently he’s MIA so we’re trying to find him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, well tell me when you find him!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil nods, “of course.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil can hear the door open, and he stands quickly, rushes to the door. He feels his hope immediately fade out when it’s just Wilbur and Techno. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’d you get here so fast?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno jangles his keys and Phil mentally facepalms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay, yeah. I know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Tommy apparently hasn’t talked to Tubbo in a bit.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur’s eyebrows raise, “Not talked to Tubbo? Aren’t they best friends?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I thought.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil checks his phone for messages and sees the time, “Wilbur have you taken your meds yet?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur looks down at his phone, and mumbles out a quiet “shit” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet, I’ll go do that now.” Wilbur gently pushes past Phil and makes his way to the bathroom. Phil nods and starts typing in another number. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to call the school, maybe he’s there?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur nods and closes to the door behind him, pulling out the bottle of pills. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Amitriptyline, Wilbur Soot-Pandel, 25mg, 3 times a day, and 50mg, once a day.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur carefully takes out one of the tablets and fills the small cup he leaves next to the sink. Placing the pill in the back of his throat, he quickly downs the water, wincing as the tablet slowly creeps down his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t particularly like his medication, it made him forgetful. He was already forgetful, his depression having nasty symptoms, but ever since he had gotten on his medication, it’s gotten worse. He didn’t know about this meet up with the group until Eret had mentioned it in passing, and said he planned it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t like it, but in what he can remember, he hasn’t been sad and he hasn’t relapsed so that must mean it’s working. And if he didn’t take it he might be sent back to ward and he doesn’t want that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur gets himself another glass of water and downs it quickly, the pill going down faster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Putting the cup back carefully, he washes his hands, and makes sure his medication is back where it belongs before returning to the main room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil is worriedly chatting with Techno.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what’d the school say?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He never showed up” Techno’s usual monotone was clouded with worry, fiddling with the small tag on his varsity jacket to stay calm as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck? We walked with him like usual.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you saw him go in?” Phil levels him with the concerned gaze and Wilbur winces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we usually walk him like halfway then split at the tracks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously?” Phil’s concerned gaze turns disappointed, “He’s barely thirteen! You can’t just leave him, we barely know this town.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilbur winces again, “I-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was always fine with it.” Wilbur feels grateful at the interjection, but concerned at the phrasing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well now he’s missing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy sighs in relief, finally the bus had finished loading up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had taken forever because of some dumb woman screaming about the bus quality or something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy looks down at the sleeve of his brother’s hoodie and sees the wear on the sleeve where Techno had pulled it when worried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sight strikes him with unease but the bus starts moving and he gets a strong feeling of being stuck. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t want to be here.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Before they can actually go far, Tommy stands up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanna get off!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bus quickly stops and he scurries off of it, sitting right past the curb to collect himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did he stop? He’s never had problems with leaving before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The same sense of self depreciation blossoms in his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t even do simple shit, how worthless am I?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, as the sun starts to go down, he stands up. He doesn’t want to go back home but he doesn’t really have a choice, does he. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one is home right, Wilbur with friends, Techno studying, Phil at work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s going to be all alone in that dumb fucking house basically all night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels pathetic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just tried to run and failed. He’s never failed! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, until now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He starts his trek and immediately starts feeling the burning on his shoulder from carrying the bag. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the dumb kids at school had tosses him in the closet, they had to wrestle him down first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They dislocated his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurts like a bitch, but not the worst thing that’s happened to him so he can deal with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the multiple mile long walk, he makes it home and sees the lights on and hears yelling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels his stomach sink and his legs give out underneath him. He curls in front of the tiny white fence and watches the cars go by far too fast. Distantly, he realizes he’s crying, the tears slipping down his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil is obviously home. Maybe the school called him to tell him he ditched. Maybe he’s expelled. Maybe Phil’s sending him back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one would want him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy looks up quickly to see Phil in his big coat to block the cold of the night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil sees the tears stains on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil quickly pulls Tommy up and wraps him in a big hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy can only feel confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get you inside.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Phil quickly brings Tommy in where he’s met with the faces of his two crying brothers, looking up, he sees Phil’s tear stained face. Sensing the heavy tension, he attempts a joke. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who died?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dam breaks again, and Phil pulls Tommy into another hug because </span>
  <em>
    <span>it could have been him.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilbur lets out a humorless chuckle, “We thought you did, asshole.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Techno glares at Wilbur and elbows him in the side before coming closer, “You weren’t answering your phone and you weren’t at school.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Techno reaches forward and hugs him in a rare show of emotional vulnerability. Tommy feels his walls starting to crumble the minute Techno mumbles out a quiet, “What happened?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not much,” Tommy’s frantically trying to rebuild his walls, they can’t know everything, especially with how long it’s been, “School’s just hard and whatever.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You attempted to run away because school is hard!? Did you even consider how it’d make us feel!?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t think it’d matter much.” The quiet mumble makes everything stop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not matter much, Tommy, we’re your family! We love you!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well you haven’t shown it a lot lately.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phil feels his heart sink further and further with each quiet statement, “What do you mean?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” Tommy gently removes himself from Techno’s hug, wrapping his arms around himself, “I haven’t gotten to see you guys a lot. You’re always at work and Techno and Wilbur are always busy.” As he speaks, his words get slowly quieter until he’s mumbling, far softer and quieter than his usual tone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilbur lets out a quiet scoff, “We had a family night only a few days ago and you didn’t even come.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy glares at him, “It’s not like I could if I wanted to.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pit of concern just keeps growing in Phil’s gut as his children start to argue. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s that supposed to mean?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy scoffs, “Like you’d care.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do care!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why wouldn’t you listen to me!?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You never came to me!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did! Yesterday! You told me to leave!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The room falls back into a deathly silence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… what?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You, What</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Techno strides his way back across the room, grabbing the taller by his jacket. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-” Wilbur’s face shows blanat confusion and a little fear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“WHAT DID YOU SAY!?” Techno yanks him closer, face close enough to see the multitude of tiny scars scattered across his face from the “duel” he’d been in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know!” Techno’s face tightens. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How can you not remember something like that!?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t remembered much in a while, Techno! I don’t know what you want me to say!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean by that, Wil?” Phil looks at his oldest with concern. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W- Well,” Wilbur leans away from Techno. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My memory’s been pretty shitty lately, um, I- I can’t remember much.” Wilbur forces out a laugh, “I didn’t even remember planning to hang out with my friends today and they said </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> planned it-” Wilbur brakes off into nervous, forced laughter with a pained look. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Techno moves his hands from Wilbur’s jacket front to his shoulders, “Wil, you mentioned it to me this morning.”  His previous tightened anger has been replaced with confused concern. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did- Did I?” The nervous laughter gets shakier. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. You did.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A suffocating silence fills the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wil, we can discuss this later.” The tenseness in the dissipates a little before returning at full force with the quiet, “We will talk later though.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilbur gives a small jerk and Techno lets go of him, returning over to the youngest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tommy, what did you mean by you couldn’t have come even if you wanted to?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy shrinks under the returned attention, “Well, I was, um, well, I was forced to be busy.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tommy, how does someone force you to be busy?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone in the room is looking at him and Tommy can’t help but feel small. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, the kids at school aren’t the, uh, nicest, per say, and, um,” Tommy leans back from Phil a bit, shrugging his arm off his shoulder, “some dislike me enough, to, uh, put in the effort to keep me from going home.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Techno’s glare and Phil’s concern only serves to make him feel worse, “I guess at least.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After more of the suffocating silence, Phil musters up the will to resume the conversation, “Tommy, that doesn’t answer my question-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They locked me in a closet okay!?” Phil leans back from the force of Tommy’s yell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Techno’s response was more of a statement than the question he meant it to be, but he decides to roll with it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Give me names and they’ll be gone before Monday.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Techno-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter anyway, I don’t know anyone’s names.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Phil lets out a long sigh, a heavy weight of failure to his kids settling on his back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think tonight we should just calm down and chill, we can finish this conversation tomorrow when we’re not all tired and pent up.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Techno and Wilbur nod, the former reluctantly, and Phil picks up the movie he had rented before realizing what had happened. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now! Who wants to see Wonder Woman 1984?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His kids cheer loudly as he puts in the movie, as the movie starts he looks over them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilbur’s tear stained face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Techno’s bottled rage. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy’s tired desperation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They're not okay now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But with time, </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They might just make it. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay! <br/>I know that this is probably disappointing of an ending for such a long time coming, but no matter how many times I rewrote the ending, it never seemed to come out right. I finally decided that crossing the year line was too much and I just needed to suck it up and post something so I give you this! <br/>I will say that I did intend for it to be longer and for them to actually work it out but I just couldn't make it work? So I left it at a vague ignoring the problem at the promise of a later date even though I don't intend to write that later date. <br/>I do hope you enjoyed! and I hope I at least mildly filled your standards dearest request writer :)</p>
<p>if you have a request you can post it as a story and dedicate it or send it to me on either of my instagrams! (dreambird711 and dreambirdie_)</p>
<p>Have a nice day!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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